A Year in Review: A Look Back at My First Year in Esports

 

Hey lovely readers! This is a blog I didn’t expect to write for another few years but the world is a weird place and so I'm getting to write it now. By the time you’re reading this I’ll have completed my first year of working in esports, and even typing that feels insane to me. So insane, to the point where I can barely believe this is my life. I'm going to be honest, this wasn’t something I expected to happen to me (especially not as I was doing the first draft of this blog in the library before a seminar – multi tasking at its finest, I know). And it’s pretty insane to me to think about the journey I’ve gone on in a singular year, so today is a reflection on my first year in esports, what I’ve learnt, a thank you to all the people who supported me and encouraged me and a thank you to you all for sticking with my blog enough to read my little rambles. This wouldn’t have been possible without all of you reading this blog, this blog started so much for me.

 

For those of who you are wondering how I got into esports, I fell into esports through my friend on Discord. He used to stream on Twitch and often streamed TFT and League – I had zero idea what either was, no idea what TFT stood for, and in all honesty I wasn’t there for the games at all. I was there because we were a huge group of friends who were chaotic in his chat and terrorized him when he was a cringe eboy - we were a lovely friend group as you can tell. But for some reason I asked him about League and he started telling me about Worlds, I’m not sure why I first asked - maybe curiosity got the best of me or maybe I wanted to actually get a response out of him as he sucked at replies, but either way, I’m glad I asked. He sent me a ton of promotional content, previous team pop off plays, and also answered every (and I mean every) question I had. He also sent me the videos I referenced/linked in my female pro players article. Big thanks to him - sadly he doesn’t stream much anymore otherwise I’d send you all his way XD it was Worlds 2020 and I started watching at the end of the play-ins stage, Legacy Esports was representing the LCO, Fnatic had Rekkles as ADC and Damwon Gaming (DWG KIA) were rising through the ranks.

 

I had no idea what region was what, no idea which team was from which region and all the players were names I had never heard of. I really had no damn idea what was going on. For some bonus context I'm from a relatively quiet part of the UK and esports does not exist there, no one watches it, very few people game and girls were not invited to be involved in esports or really gaming on the whole, at all. But nonetheless I stuck with it, I watched cluelessly until eventually it started to make sense (or at least a bit of sense). I still questioned almost everything (apologies to my poor friend who got all my questions day and night for weeks) and he explained G2 were a European team as I watched the TES reverse sweep on Fnatic and was so hyped for TES. He wasn’t hyped haha. My friend told me to watch G2 and support the EU team as they were EU’s last hope. I pretty much ignored him (my bad) and became fascinated by the LPL and LCK teams – specifically LGD, TES, Gen G and DWG KIA. The end of Worlds 2020 rolled around and I watched the entire finals, I actually woke up early enough to load it up and watched beginning to end.

Totally enthralled would be a good description of baby esports me.

 

Baby me was also clueless (and possibly quite dumb) as it turns out, I was originally looking for analyst positions in low level UK teams but established relatively quickly I was not suited for the position of strategic analysis. Namely because I'm terrible at strategy in game – I could meme myself here but I’ll save that for another blog. I’m also not a fan of math in any shape or form, there’s a reason I’m a writer and not an analyst if I’m being honest. One thing I did learn from that little phase though, was how to take rapid notes on game play – which has served me well the last year. Very well indeed when it comes to game recaps - which are very enjoyable to write. 

 

So my first year in esports. 

It was spent with Hitmarker for a lot of the year – applying for any job or programme that could get me a head start because the pressure to get in young and start climbing up the ladder of esports, was one I felt a lot. I’ll be honest, I felt like I was already too late, because so many players and other staff members had started at the age I already was. Time pressure that really didn’t exist, and if I could, I would go back and tell my younger self that it didn’t matter.

I did a couple of pieces here and there when I heard back from companies (which was rare), but I lacked a lot of experience and my portfolio was in no way wide enough. I had a few small test pieces that I kept in a Google drive document - which is not a great portfolio but it helped nonetheless, and sent those out wherever possible. I’ll be honest, I was very lucky at the start of 2022. Like lucky in a way I probably didn't deserve. January 2022 saw me join the LCO team ORDER as a freelance writer for them, it was the result of a well timed email and most likely more good luck than judgment. But still, a foot in the door. And something I’m insanely grateful for to this day - without it, I'm not sure I would've been able to make the progress I've been able to make so far.

I was at ORDER for five ish months – till MSI time roughly, and learnt a lot about the preferred writing style in esports, language to avoid and so on. I learnt a lot of lessons from it without a shadow of a doubt. ORDER are sadly in administration now, and no longer in operation due to the company filing to administration, but I'm glad I got my start with them. The LCO is a region I'm hugely passionate about and I have a lot of people in that circuit who I consider friends, including players at ORDER. It was fun being able to hype up the matches ORDER played, especially when my friends had huge pop off moments and I got to write about how good they are at the game. Yes the losses sucked but then again writing about losses will likely always suck, but to start with ORDER was an opportunity I'm so grateful for, and it was the best start I could’ve gotten to working more widely in esports. Especially within the LCO – who I still watch to this day (providing it doesn’t clash with my classes or my sleep schedule - I mean have yall seen the schedule for spring season!? My sleep schedule sobbed). Plus who doesn’t want to work for a team with such lovely people working there? Everyone there was so supportive, patient and kind to me, from the staff members I worked with, to the players who followed me on socials and would read my work and hype me up. It was without a doubt the best start I could have gotten, even if a lot of it was sheer luck.

 

Between MSI and August, I high key disappeared out of esports and off the face of the earth. Not that I was ever good at using Twitter in the first place. A lot changed in my life (and then changed again) and other things took over my life for a while. I felt like after a year and a bit in esports I was almost falling out of love with it, I couldn’t persuade myself to follow esports news or watch half the matches I had planned to watch. I honestly considered dropping out while I was ahead and figured I’d have a short lived esports career and that would be ok. But esports is a huge part of my life and something I adore so much, and what turned it around was starting this blog. I had wanted to run this blog since January but it had kept putting it off because I was scared about what other people would say and think. Other peoples’ opinions especially those who are wanting you to fail, should never hold you back, but it did, and I wish it hadn’t because this blog might have happened a bit sooner if I had stopped caring what other people thought when they wanted to see me fail. Dear me this sounds like some sort of motivational speech but you know what they say - be so good they can’t ignore you. And that is something I’m trying to do to some extent, I want to improve my work and be so good my growth is incredible. And this blog really did help in all of that.

Now is a good time to mention I actually lost a lot of friends when I started to become interested in esports, like a lot of friends. We can debate whether they were true friends or whatever, but either way those friendships ended pretty quickly because I was ‘obsessed with esports’ ‘it’s all she ever talks about’ ‘why can’t she just shut up about it, esports is a men thing’ that last one really gets me. Esports isn’t gendered and it has made a lot of progress – not all the progress necessary, but a lot compared to where it was when it started. And growth is growth even if those steps aren’t the biggest in the world to everyone else. So yep, I lost a lot of close friends in just under a year, but one thing about me is that I'm stubborn and when I want something I will go after it no matter what, and I’ll keep pushing till I reach that goal. So instead of arguing or trying to explain myself (for the hundredth time) I bowed out and just went with it. And that’s how I'm here today – plus or minus a few sobbing sessions. And the block button was a good friend during that time too.

 

Starting this blog reminded me why I love esports, all the nuances that can be talked about, all the insane out plays, all the names that are etched into history. All of it. This blog bought me back into the heart of esports and reminded me why I had began watching them in the first place. VCT Champion Tour was also just starting, as League regular season and play-offs wrapped up, all of this and a determination to make this blog a success really pushed me harder. I wanted a blog to update my work regularly (apologies that I'm not regular with it in the slightest), and have something to show potential jobs.

And honestly it’s thanks to this blog, and all of you for being here and reading it – that I got my freelance role at esports.gg. This blog saved me in so many ways, it gave me a purpose, not just a portfolio, and it meant so much to me when I was at one of my lowest points. Writing here, even if no one was reading or no one cared what I had to say was the thing I needed to get me back into esports, and barely a month after my blog, I secured my current position as a freelance contributor at esports.gg and that’s where you can find me today outside of this blog. 

The position at esports.gg had me feeling insecure for a while, I didn’t think I deserved it, and I’m also one of the youngest at the company with limited experience so it felt pretty unbelievable that everyone had enough faith in me to give me space on the team. But they did and I haven’t been fired so I suppose they still do. They have helped me at every step of the way, every stupid question, every dumb error, every ‘why the heck won’t this work… oh that’s why’ moment, and still haven’t gotten rid of me.

It doesn’t feel like my life that I get to say I’m now an esports journalist. I definitely don’t meet up to the image of an esports journalist that I’ve had in my head for years, I always imagine someone like Laure or Yinsu, much more experienced and so talented, and now the amazing team at esports.gg too, which is made up of so many talented people. I used to market myself as an esports writer, but I suppose after nearly six months at esports.gg I am technically an esports journalist. That was something I didn’t expect to achieve in five years never mind one, I cannot say enough how grateful and lucky and blessed and all the other positive words out there, on how I feel. Esports journalism felt way out of my reach when I first started but to think I achieved it is both incredible and astounding and also can make me feel very insecure purely because I don't think my writing is good enough to be considered journalism.

But all of that aside.

Esports is my life. Honestly it is.

It was something to keep me company in 2020, something I grew a passion about in 2021, and at the start of 2022 it became my job, and now at the start of 2023 it is still my job, still my passion and something I adore. It sucks that I lost friends as part of me pursuing my goal of working in esports, but it gave me so many more amazing friends on Twitter who I would never have met had it not been for esports - friends who come over here and read my rambles just because its me and they have my back. And for that I cannot thank you all enough. I can’t imagine my life without esports, I would be on such a different track of life, walking down a very very different path to the one I find myself so lucky to be on today. Thank you for coming over here and reading my blog, it made the biggest difference in getting me my dream job that I now get to do, thank you for supporting in me, believing in me, and waiting on me to come back and continue my rambles here. A special thanks to all the wonderful people in the industry who have supported me, taken a chance on me when they’ve seen my passion even despite my lack of experience, so thank you. Thanks for believing in me, and believing that you could help me learn and improve without judging my lack of experience.

Thank you all, thank you for keeping coming here, and thank you for every player who has followed me, every esport journalist who told me to keep going because they’ve been where I am and they made it, so so can I. Thank you, I can’t say it enough. Without everyone being here there is no way I would be where I am today. *sniffles* thank you. So that’s my first year in esports in review, taking a look back at everything, all the development and growth I’ve made, the amazing companies I’ve been honored to be at, this blog that I’m so proud of and intend to grow further into 2023 and thank you again. One year in esports down, only the rest of time still to go ;) 

Thanks for reading and for being here, and see you on the next blog!

Byeeeeeeee ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ

*waves and sniffles*