A love letter to MSI 2023

 

When we talk about dreams, I think for many people they are this far off thing that we would love to happen but have in some way accepted may never happen and so we don’t dream too much in the fear that it will stop being such a sweet thing and start being a sad thing instead. I think that is why I fully prepared myself to have to buy a day ticket to some random MSI 2023 day and watch the rest from home, it didn’t really cross my mind for the longest time that I could actually be there as a member of the press – a phrase that doesn’t sound right when correlated to me – that I could see MSI start to finish (okie close to finish – I bailed on finals day due to crappy trains and a desperate need to spend more than five-six hours in my bed). I think a part of me is constantly surprised by myself and my life in esports, I had told my boss that I wanted to apply for a press pass and he told me to. But when I tell you I was bricking it for days waiting to see if I got one, I'm not kidding. I think I almost passed out when the EU Riot contact emailed me saying I had secured a pass. I didn’t believe it that much is for sure, I re-read the email, I checked that it was meant to have been sent to me, I took over an hour to tell my family because I was so convinced it was a mistake and there was no way they meant me, that when I checked the days I had put down, I was ready to all but fall over. You say imposter syndrome, I say yes. But either way, it wasn’t real for me until I realised I now had to figure out the next 3 weeks of my life, somewhere between commuting between uni, keeping my uni grades up, commuting between my uni city and London – and later commuting between London, my home town for late night events and my uni city. Completely out of my mind attempting all of that in one month? Probably yes. But we’re not here to talk and question my life choices, this is a love letter to MSI 2023, everything it taught me, all the people I had the pleasure of meeting, all the pro players I got to joke with, all the translators who were the loveliest people on earth, and to you for reading my blog, for being here and supporting me, seeing me grow and for always engaging with my content – because if you all didn’t engage with it, I would have no job in esports and wouldn’t be on this incredible journey that led me to one of the most prestigious events I could’ve asked for.

Side note - all photos are taken by me unless stated otherwise

somewhere outside copperbox

So here we are, MSI 2023 London, just over a week after it wrapped up, finished writing up MSI content for work and am now able to focus on my blog. What a three weeks it was. From day one of absolutely bricking it, hating the walk to copper box arena from my experience of navigating it in the dark at Apex, to all but skipping along the bridge over the canal and racing into the press room in various states of knackered, hyper and low or high caffeinated status. From day 1, I couldn’t have asked for nicer people – genuinely the Riot staff are some of the nicest people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting, always friendly and smiling, always so happy to help and I truly want to credit them for that because they don’t get the recognition they deserve. None of my interviews could’ve happened without them and their tireless efforts, from being a friendly face in the morning, to seeing you about to breakdown in the corner, they were the least judgemental people, most supportive and friendly, who were more than willing to answer any dumb question. Genuinely nothing but gratitude and love – yes I know how cliché and cringe that is but they were incredible start to finish – for them, nothing was too much and they were exactly what I needed on my first proper LAN – yes I went to Apex but I was actually working this event and for three weeks as opposed to one day. The Riot staff were the first people I met and the last people I saw on my last day, and who knows, they might just see me at Riot in LA in a few years time working in the teams they work in. maybe that sounds incredibly overenthusiastic but right now, nothing feels too far fetched for me and working at Riot is definitely the dream. I also have to say a huge thank you to them, one morning during check-in I asked several of the Riot staff what their jobs included outside of MSI, how they applied and what I would need to do to put in a strong application for Riot – and despite the fact that I'm sure they had one hundred other things to do, they took the time to talk me through everything, from their job roles, how MSI ties into their roles, what makes a good application and what they had done that made their application strong. Oh and they greeted me by name every single morning and asked me how I was doing, and I’d be lying if I said that wasn’t one of the best parts of my day – it made me feel like a part of the community and worthy of time and respect and honestly that is such a beautiful feeling to have in the midst of screams and pauses.

the MSI 2023 stage in London up close

On the topic of wonderful people, every translator I worked with deserves the biggest hug imaginable. I’ve said it before and I will say it again, without translators I do not have a job. My job is massively impacted by translators and they do not get nearly enough credit for the invaluable work they do. Yes, I met some of the big name translators – who are every bit as incredible as you think they are, but I also met the staff from behind the scenes in other regions who stepped in to aid translation and make sure all the journalists got what they needed. Translators are just one of the key components that make MSI work, without them my job is literally futile, I would never have been able to meet Peanut, Xun, Robo, Kiaya, and so many others without the translators, they are worth their weight in gold and then some. The translators are literally incredible, they are human rays of sunshine, who do their absolute darndest to make sure journalists leave happy with what they needed and get every message across as best as they can. Seriously, while I would say I'm reasonable at languages and linguistics, what translators do is on another level and they are truly and utterly some of the most wonderful people you will find at these events. For me it was a huge thing to always thank the translators and let them know just how much I appreciated them and every single thing they did – and trust me, when it came to me and my questions, they did a heck of a lot. I was probably a really annoying journalist simply because I’d ask some really weird questions that they were probably wondering what was going on inside my head. Your guess is as good as mine to be honest. But these are some of the most patient people you will ever meet and deserve all the love and happiness in the world – huge shoutout to the poor Korean translator who had to deal with a very frazzled and anxious me on day 1 attempting to interview Steal because to say I was not coping would be something of an understatement from how nervous I was and flustered beyond belief. One of my favourite things about MSI 2023 and working with the translators is that a lot of the time you meet the same translators multiple times, it was always nice being able to smile and say hi to them, learn their names, hear if they read an interview, etc. and just chat about them with some of the most random things – genuinely those MSI interview rooms must have stories, you know what they say, if walls could talk…

a 2020 dream come true - meeting Sjokz at Convergence

Continuing even further with wonderful people and this will partially come under a different blog – I have to hand it to all the wonderful people I met at the Convergence event. From Sjokz and Laure – I did nearly pass out I will be honest, to some wonderful streamers who were so bubbly and friendly, the number of people I had the pleasure of meeting in one night is literally unreal to my mind. The streamers – oh my gosh, so friendly, so bubbly, so happy and full of energy, human rays of sunshine who were so incredibly lovely to me and all so talented – I follow every single person I met and got a Twitter of, and I will continue to hype them up as they follow their own dreams – they are all awesome and made a scary event so much better. And to Sjokz especially, thank you so so much for taking the time to talk to me and really make me feel like there was no one else in the world you wanted to talk to. She is incredible and so is Laure, Laure is literally human sunshine too and has the most lovely smile in the world, they both were so nice. I may also have chatted to some staff at Cloud9 about what jobs they would take a writer for – so hey C9 recruitment team if you are seeing this, can you hire me please? I'm joking – kind of, haha. It was also so nice to meet some of the other press at MSI 2023 away from the press room, ask them about their journeys, the advice they would give themselves at my age, so on and so fourth. There were a ton of people at the event I actually wanted to talk to but didn’t, but I’ve tried to find as many of them to follow as possible – and some found me – and they were all wonderful too! This also carries over into the other broadcast talent I met – because yes, I did get to meet Vedius – taller than expected, Kobe – far too tall, and Drakos – seriously where is everyone getting this height from? All three were awesome to meet, and I have such special memories of being able to ask them questions I’d always wanted to know the answer to and hear what it meant to them to work in esports – because for me, esports is such a huge component of my life and you will hear me say more than once, esports saved me.

 

a picture from my last day at MSI 2023 - may or may not have cried while taking this photo

Even more wonderful people still to write about, the players themselves. When I first got involved with esports I was told so many times that being a girl meant I wouldn’t be respected by the players and a load of other garbage that is the furthest from the truth. Every single pro player I met, was lovely. Contrary to popular stereotypes, I can confirm the players do go outside and see the sunshine (or as much sunshine as you can get in the UK) and have really good sense of humours that made it fun to talk with them. If I had to complain about something about pro players – I would be hard pushed to find something – my biggest complaint would be along the lines of the fact no one warned me, I was going to be the shortest in the room when interviewing. I would genuinely walk into the room, be setting up my stuff (read – dumping my laptop on a table and turning up the brightness) and turn round to see this incredibly tall pro player entering the space. I'm looking at you Fudge Cakey and Robo, in particular. For my next event, I'm taking a step stool with me. All jokes aside though, the players were all super sweet, they were all patient with me when I was flustered or attempting to find my notes out of the numerous documents open, and they all answered so well to every question I threw out there – no matter how random or seemingly weird. I wouldn’t say I have a favourite interview from meeting the players, there are some I'm really proud of, some I'm glad I did, others I would love to change or do again, and some that I would like to erase from the earth because I know now I could do so much better. But every single interview with every single pro is so important and special to me, every pro really did give my interviews their all, their enthusiasm and passion was unmatched and intoxicating and I think I left most interviews – if not all – usually skipping out of the room. Apologies to the Riot staff who must have watched me practically skip out of the press room daily. Meeting all those pros – either via video call or in person – was so special, they were all so respectful and open and being able to talk with them was a huge privilege – it’s something I massively pinch myself over whenever I look over my interviews or the memories I’ve collected from my three weeks. For me, it was hugely important to try and thank all the players in their native language and wish them good luck wherever possible – my linguistic ability is now very good in saying thank you in a variety of languages. It was a dream come true to meet so many of these players, especially as I have watched so many of them in recent years, of course there are plenty of players I still want to meet, but to meet nearly 20 in three weeks so early into my career is astounding and something I would never want to take for granted. The buzz of working with these players, getting to have time to ask them questions – especially 1:1 – is something that is such a privilege and so special to me – and being able to ask for a selfie for socials (don’t worry I will be including tons of photos over the next blogs) is even cooler. I know so many people would do so much to be in my position, to meet these pros for a living and get to chat to them, it truly does feel like a pinch me moment. Especially when you are stood in the corridor tidying up your questions when Faker is sat opposite you. Still not quite over that memory just yet.

 

my walk to work for the whole of MSI - this was a fave spot to stand after work and watch the world go by

There are so many memories and moments, that I want to share with you all, but to put it all in one blog would be inherently unfair on your screen time so I will split them up into week-by-week blogs and other content. But for now, we will end on two more points – everything I have learnt and a final thank you to you all for being here.

 

the view from the balcony seats

For me, MSI was a huge learning curve, I learnt so so much in such a short amount of time it is unreal – not least my way to the venue from an overground station without Google maps or getting lost. Big win there I cannot lie. But I also learnt a lot about interviewing, what makes a good interview, good ways to build up a rapport fast (because all of every press members’ interviews were done in a very short time slot – even if we wanted them to go on for hours longer!), how to write exciting and interesting questions and get better in depth answers to questions that on the surface only needed a few words. But I also learnt a lot more than that, I learnt a lot about myself. I learnt that I actually do know what I'm doing in esports, I'm not some Bambi on ice even if I'm not some graceful ice skater yet either. I learnt that what I bring most to esports, is I bring myself, I bring my personality (love it or hate it), I bring my humour (typically British and sarcastic), my enthusiasm (something like a ten year old whose had far too much sugar), my determination and my unwillingness to just throw in the towel (read – stubbornness). I also bring my own passion to the game, to esports, and my compassion too, I won’t ask hard questions bluntly, I will try to throw in fun questions to break up what could be a mentally taxing interview, I will make sure to listen to the answer and respond genuinely not just ‘oh there there’ but ‘yeah I imagine that feels rough and I hope that won’t last too long for you’ bringing compassion is so important in my opinion. If you’ve followed me for a while, you may have seen a tweet where I said that in my opinion a big part of being a journalist is about caring. Giving a sh*t isn’t enough, you need to actually care, and you need to care a lot. I have honestly cried before going to interview a player or a team because I am so sad for them, I have sobbed hearing a player’s story and what esports means to them, I have wished I could do more so many times, I have wished I could hug the player who is literally empty in front of me and is crying – professionalism really sucks sometimes. MSI was a big learning curve, I think I can talk to people fairly well and maybe sometimes I do get starstruck – but are you telling me if Gumayusi was stood in front of you, you wouldn’t also be bricking it? Of course I don’t want to screw up, but it’s a lot more than that too, I want the players to enjoy talking to me and I want them to feel comfortable to talk to me. It’s more than just professional links, it’s being a person and treating them as a person. My questions can be hellishly unconventional, my content can seem totally and utterly out there to the point of painful if you don’t see what I was going for, but this is something I’ve realised is a good thing. I'm not interested in asking the same question they’ve been asked a thousand times, I care a lot about seeing the person behind the pro, and I care about making sure that pro is comfortable. If that means I need to joke about height or being clumsy or still needing my notes after three weeks of interviewing, so be it. One of my friends has this saying, it’s only embarrassing if you are embarrassed. And it is true – a lot more accurate than I would tell her haha, but I applied it a lot over those three weeks, it’s only embarrassing if you are embarrassed and if you just view it as part of the experience then it really isn’t that much of a big deal. My content is unequivocally mine, it is out there, it is enthusiastic and passionate, it is weird at times and there are things you wouldn’t expect a journalist to ask. But being normal is overrated anyway, and wherever I end up in esports in the coming years – I hope that everyone will see my content for mine and respect that it is me behind it all. It’s my personality, my words, my work, it’s me, it’s so much more than just words on a page and questions that have been asked before.

 

my MSI wristband that I managed to keep in good enough condition to add into a scrapbook

And finally, thank you to you for being here. for engaging with this post and any others you may have read, if you’ve been here from the very start of this blog – thank you for sticking around this long. If you joined through my LinkedIn or my Twitter or just through a mutual, thank you for being here too, I appreciate every person so wholeheartedly who comes to this corner of the internet to see what I'm rambling about this time. I said earlier that esports saved me, and part of that is this blog, I started this blog when I was having a rough time in life – I won’t go into the ins and outs but just picture someone really struggling – this blog was a refuge for me, it let me talk about what I cared about with other people who cared about it too and didn’t judge me for being a girl, for being myself, for liking what I liked and so on and so fourth. There is a lot to be said for every single one of you being here, supporting me, supporting my blog, watching my esports journey. Who knows if I will still be a journalist in esports in ten years time, maybe I will be a team manager attempting to get players across the world to a tournament causing the least amount of trouble possible, maybe I’ll be an executive at a company somewhere in gaming, or maybe I’ll be curled up in an attic flat with a few pets and esports on in the background while I work on something. Who knows. But I know I have all of you to thank for it, I have MSI 2023 to thank for it, and I'm not done yet, I have so much more to do. So I hope you will join me on that journey. And what would be a love letter be without a thank you to everyone who got me this far, to my family for supporting my dream even if it isn’t what typical immigrant girls do while at university, to my friends the new and the old for always rooting for me and telling me to keep dreaming because your life can change a lot in a year. To this last year for being a year of things I never expected to happen – happening, to every single person who was willing to take a chance on me to ensure I got an opportunity to further myself, to all my pro friends in the LCO who championed me and at times put up with me throwing around ludicrous ideas, to my friend who introduced me to esports at Worlds 2020, and to everyone else, who was there loudly or quietly but was rooting for me in some way. thank you.

 

made it to the MSI flickr after claiming a BLG banner - photo by Colin Young-Wolff / Riot Games

From the bottom of my heart, every single one of you means the freaking world to me and to MSI 2023 finally – thank you for teaching me lessons you can’t pay for, for giving me opportunities I never thought I would get, for allowing me to meet people I have looked up to for years, and for finally coming to the UK. Bring Worlds with you next time ;)

 

And if you’re going to take away any one thing from this blog, let it be this – life is far too short to not dream and go after those dreams. Dreams can always become a reality, dream big dreams, and if you’re dreams don’t scare you – they probably aren’t big enough.

 

Thanks for reading, and see you on the next blog!

Byeeeeee ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ